First Friday in months that I actually got home pretty early with nothing planned except to simply make the most out of my glorified idle time. A few hours into it and I already miss the rush of a Friday show. And after stumbling upon my friend, Toff’s column in Philippine Star (July 25, 2008) about our show, the melancholic feelings start flowing in and I can’t help but feel all too sentimental about it.

Three weekends, fifteen shows after, I’m still pretty thrilled and proud of myself, the cast and the crew. It feels surreal looking back at what I’ve been through since last summer – juggling Congress and COA work with everyday late night rehearsals all the way in the North. I remember wanting to be back on stage so much, especially for my last year in college. Of course, I didn’t foresee the amount of sacrifice I had to go through, as well as the effort and time invested for all my other major commitments. There were so many times that it was easy to suppress all the frustration because work distracted me to no end. It meant learning to control, take charge, and indulge in the right moments. It meant a lot of compromises between my other commitments, family and social life.

But the shows were a success, and the emotional highs and lows that came with it is still pretty much worth it. The joy of entertaining, sharing stories and taking on different characters remind me that there’s a part of me that will long to go back to the performing arts. Behind the curtains, all the random, candid, emotional, sweet, funny moments with my cast mates will be terribly missed. Charmie, Sab and Nica are three of the most talented, beautiful girls I’ve ever worked with. I already miss the backstage chaos of curling our hair, putting on make-up and listening to all the good, juicy stories about our lives. haha. Especially when the rest of the guys start cracking up and pulling out the best jokes, improvs, wisecracks, and flirting advice to psyche us up just before the show. Oh. I miss.

Going through my last year in college, I feel like my emotions are simply heightened to a whole new level. I thought I’d end up all caught up with all my responsibilities, leaving little room for momentary emotional blows. Unfortunately, two months of my Senior year have already passed and I find myself even more contemplative than usual. Even amidst all the craziness from PAC, Sesqui, COA, Aegis, and acads, I still find myself getting lost in my thoughts. Thank God for superclassmates, really sweet newfound friends and meditation.

Crazy how fast time flies by. Crazy how different my last year is turning out to be. Crazy how easily life can suddenly make a 180 degree turn. Crazy how I managed to make my emotions get the best of me. Crazy how things can start to make sense when you least expect it to.

It’s all pretty overwhelming at this point. But I still want to make the most out of my last college year. I’ve been given so many rare opportunities to do what I love, to discover what else I can accomplish and to understand what it is to really be a person for others. There are only possibilities. The weight of my decisions may trigger make-or-break realities that I’m not sure I can handle. But even if I find myself vulnerable to the world, the knowledge that it is always some kind of learning experience is comforting. I will allow myself to grow from all my mistakes, and continue to learn and live life always searching for that silver lining.

CREDITS: First two sets of photos are taken by CK Chua, third one by Jorja Hung, and the last is a backstage shot from Aye Ortiz (part of the cast). For more pictures by them visit these beautiful albums.