I missed blogging. I feel like I have so much to say, but no time to write. At this point, everything just makes me feel so overwhelmed. I’m bored, busy, worried, bummed, whatnot. Nothing positive right there, but I’m working on it.

When I have my hands supposedly full with a million things to worry and be concerned about, there comes this point when I just want to whisk myself away from it all and just forget. At least for a moment. Most especially when I’m at the comforts of my own home. Shucks. Perhaps this is a sign that I can’t work at home. My usual intense self will not work. I need the action, the rush, the chaos.

Sigh. The many modes I go through to accomplish what I have to. My boyfriend categorized my ‘moods’ into ‘modes’ and created 5 distinct ones. Apparently, he thinks he knows me too well. haha. But I have to say I found all these amusingly accurate. He says I can be so transparent it’s just too easy. So here goes the five modes.

• My default hyper happy happy mode, wherein I’m my usual talkative, rambling self with uhm… unconventional comments and ideas to weird most of the people who don’t know me away.
• My in-the-zone mode. I’d feel the inspiration rushing through my veins when I get extremely excited over an idea, a thought, a project, an event, etc. Usually, this occurs when my creative juices are at its utmost high and I feel so passionated and inspired about something.
• My own intense version of panic attacks. It’s so hard to explain this. You have to be there to witness my momentarily insane self. If you are able to calm me down, you are a friend forever.
• My worried self. I’m easily worried. But at this point, I’m already calm, suddenly quiet, emotionally stressed and in need of some happy pills.
• My snappy, irritated and annoyed self. This is the scary me. Happens when I’m provoked and having a bad day. Or when it’s super hot.

What a self-absorbed post. haha. According to Jake, I can go through all the five modes in one day. There’s always something that makes me shift from one to the other. I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing, but as long as he can tolerate my schizo tendencies, all is good. And he can. :)

My junior year is about to start. My org and work-related responsibilities feel like some sort of countdown to my first sem. Third year. Wow. It’s all so fast. Sometimes I can’t help but get all excited. Although most of the time, I’m just overcome by stress and worry. Mostly because there are some decisions that I have to make soon, and I’m not exactly sure of at the moment. Haaay. The deal with the future. The future. Sometimes I find comfort at the thought that it’s never going to be that bad. I’m a good student with a lot to offer. But it’s still pretty scary, especially when the pressure hits me at times. Mostly from myself and between what I want to do, and what I should do. I can ramble about all these, but what’s the use? I’m bound to get a hold of myself soon. At least I hope so. Let’s just say the next sem is going to be a critical one. It’s better to just be pumped up and going.

On a different note, I got braces yesterday. Sheesh. It’s the most uncomfortable accessory ever. Thankfully, my dentist says that it won’t be that long. Few months tops. But it’s such a struggle to eat! I’ve been vegging out on soup and ice-cream since yesterday. I guess I’ll get used to it soon. Boo.

I’m still in a bit of a rut now. Hopefully, I can edit this post later in a much happier mood.