Going home so late everyday has taken its toll on me. I find myself beyond exhaustion. Fortunately, I haven’t necessarily been sick YET, but once I do arrive home, I am taken by the urge to lie down and sleep. The late nights are not exactly a first for me. I did experience really late, consecutive rehearsals. But it feels very, very different. Rehearsals give me some kind of high. I come home tired, but still pretty much psyched up. This is nothing like that.

I guess it also doesn’t help that I have to wake up in between 5AM-6:30AM everyday. Mostly because my other sister in UP has classes at 7AM. I have gone past the ranting about this because it doesn’t help at all. Early mornings in Ateneo allow me to be productive anyway. Physically, I fear that I’m totally abusing my body and will one day feel the dreaded consequences. Hopefully sooner than later. I cannot risk being sick by the time the hellish month of February approaches.

There are soooo many requirements ahead. I’m not sure if I’m particularly procrastinating or dreading the looming days (and all-nighters) of cramming all the work, but I am getting so nervous about it. I guess this just means I need to particularly iron out my game plan and figure out a way to work within my already busy schedule.

I know a lot of people are raring to graduate already. Senioritis is in its intense level, and all the talk about transitions, jobs, and applications feels both a bit bittersweet and scary at the same time. Wish me luck.

Mondays are usually busy days composed of my weekly meetings and a whole bunch of dates/meetings to attend to, to-do-lists and a new set of agenda to occupy either the week or the month. It yields mixed emotions of stress, anxiety and excitement. But I guess these days, it’s mostly the latter. New projects can become exciting adventures, and I find that particularly uplifting. Optimism brings out the best in me, and this attitude is always a good one to have.

But I am not without my worries. There is immense pressure to finish things on time and finish it well. And it is exhausting. I cannot let myself fall down and settle. I need to feel constantly inspired and motivated. For this to hit me, I stop for awhile to remind myself why I do what I do and why I love it. When I finally have my answers, it gets easy from there. And the people I am with – always always help.

I have two months left. And it just doesn’t feel enough. But I’ll worry about that later. For now, there are only new exciting adventures ahead to share with such amazing people. I remain bright-eyed and optimistic. Even if it gets hard. Even if its challenging. Even when there will come a time when I’m going to pull my hair out eventually. And I fear that eventually is really soon, and soon is really like next week.

But I will take that jump, come back bouncing and glide through all these so-called work. I will think of all this work, ONLY as POSSIBILITIES, holding out infinite chances for me to learn, grow and give back.

The next few months will be awesome.

For the first few days of a new semester, I would normally be describing in detail a few first impressions of my professors or start talking about the new semester ahead. I didn’t realize I would be caught up with all my work for COA and our cluster’s big project for the Ateneo Sesquicentennial year. Not to mention the pressure of finishing the entire yearbook this December. Other things to be added to my long list of assignments are my Law school applications. It can get crazy, especially when you start hitting those frustrating bumps that make you feel quite powerless. Fortunately (and I really don’t know how I do it), even if the panic sinks in, I still end up with enough time for myself.

At this point in my life, I cannot lose sight on a lot of things. And as I go on living the last few months of my undergraduate year, I am somehow reminded by the things that I value, the things that I should value and the things I never realized I valued so much of. The ‘senior-syndrome’ may not have hit me yet, but I’m sure it will. I refuse to be caught up with things that occupy a huge chunk of my life right now without any realization whatsoever that there is no value in it. I’d like to believe that I’ve lived most of my life with enough passion for the things and the people I love. And all the while I’ve invested a part of myself in any of my interests, hobbies, talents, jobs, and even people, I’d like to think I’ve somehow have a better understanding of what I am capable of.

Having a healthy dose of confidence has yet to betray me. I never voluntary invest in things that I know I can only be half-hearted about. But approaching this sort of crossroads in my life leaves me a bit anxious. And I can’t help but be overwhelmed by...

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I think the last time I revamped this website was last January. Ten months after, I present the new layout. My coding and designing skills seemed to dwindle since it took me a bit longer to finish this. Fortunately, I do like the finished product.

As I was looking through my blog archives, I realized that I barely had any entries written during the first sem. This makes me quite sad because I’ve always thought that this blog has done a great job of encapsulating the heights of my emotions throughout college. It’s quite a joy reading through past entries and feel the nostalgia creep up. It is quite unfortunate because to say that my first sem is eventful is an understatement. I anticipated a crazy senior year and I got all that and more. But I survived it with flying colors, got myself into the Dean’s List again and achieved more than what I could personally hope for. I vow to blog more as I live through my last undergraduate semester in the Ateneo.

This sembreak is quite a busy one for me. As much as I would want to talk about each event, it is impossible to go through everything.

1. Council of Organizations of the Ateneo Evaluation Seminar

Immediately after the sem ended, the Council of Organizations of the Ateneo Central Board together with the 47 presidents/representatives of the organizations and the Office of Student Activities headed to Antipolo for 3 days of evaluation and bonding. As the Performing Arts Cluster Head, I was happy to be reunited with my presidents, bond, evaluate and plan for our next big project. It was a lot of fun, very productive and I got the chance to meet new people. Picture above is a group COA shot, while the picture below is of my cluster, PAC.

2. Council of Organizations of the Ateneo Central Board Evaluation Seminar

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The four-day “break” that started last Thursday was the beginning of an all-too-unbearable state of despair and frustration over PolSci requirements. And amidst the frying of the brain cells are the added emotional highs and lows by some unforeseen events (school … erm.. course related) that I will not bother divulging over here.

It was insane. I felt like a prisoner in my own room, shifting from reading at least 6 sources and then ending up glued in front of my computer the rest of the night. I had at least two seemingly impossible-to-finish final papers. I say that because I just basically started during that week, so it was definitely falling under the “crammed” category. For the entire “holy week,” I experienced caffeine-induced nights that allowed me to sleep at around 3-4am, while waking up at 7 to continue typing my papers away. I have forgone going out with my family, and my only form of social interaction was through YM. Somehow, there was comfort in numbers. My co-Polsci coursemates share my pain and we try to find ways to “help” each other out. This is done mostly through emotional means. hahahaha. And after a lot of crazy, crazy events that transpired in line with the Polsci madness we are all experiencing, I really have learned to love my coursemates.

I still can’t believe I did all those. And now I’m sick with cough and colds, fighting my way through this because of the pending finals. I’m glad that I was able to sleep for a long time last night. I needed to rest because I felt as if my body is going to give up any time soon, and there’s no way I’m going to let that happen. I still have History166 later, Philo orals tomorrow and partnering up with Ray for our Theo orals on Thursday. Oooh! And a take-home exam due Thursday too! Somehow, I have absolutely no idea when I’d be able to start that.

This...

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