Of leaving behind COA and ending my Senior Year
I know that this entry is already overdue, as I have officially passed my last academic requirement for my Lit class two Fridays ago. (Thank you, Ma’am Rica for my A!) Nevertheless, last week came in a flash filled with so many events that I had no time to take a breather and update. My last official day as a COA officer ended last Friday as I finally graduated from my position and celebrated the night after for the Awarding party.
I’ll keep this entry short as I may have the tendency to be quite emotional if I attempt to be all detailed about it. But there are just way too many reasons to be all sentimental, especially for someone like me who suffer from major attachment issues. I get caught up with things, and if I am truly passionate and excited about something, I revel in all its entirety. My experience as a student, leader, follower, mover, nation-builder, artist, friend, girlfriend, and neighbor through my college years can never be fully expressed exactly as how I want it to. But to put quite simply, it has been amazing. God knows it wasn’t easy. Even if people think that I made it look easy, it simply wasn’t. Goodness! If you guys read this blog in its entirety, you will get realize that I can be a total wreck. Although, I am incredibly happy that I was able to “document” my college life in this blog. At least a small part of it.
But to talk about Ateneo and what it has done for me merits an entry that I am not prepared to write just yet. Maybe sometime when I actually finally and officially march, I will. Or maybe I’d be too overwhelmed and decide to forgo it. Nevertheless, I’d like everyone to know that I have loved every bit of the learning experience and formation this institution has afforded me. And I can’t wait to go to law...
The countdown begins
Things can’t seem to slow down if only to make everything seem faster. I doubt my Senior year can be defined by a word or even a few sentences. If someone does attempt to figure an encompassing statement, it will be written and expressed intermittently – with words spilled uninterruptedly, seemingly endless with the hopes that somehow it will come to a period soon.
And so here goes the last few weeks. The final straw, a personal aggressive and euphoric battle, that will one day remain to be just memories. Everyone seems to be thinking about the future. It’s quite interesting to see how people can easily map out their lives, while others enjoy it with so much spontaneity. I, on the other hand, lie somewhere in the middle. Perhaps more of the former than the latter. It helps that law school is set out for me. And the jubilation from passing the UP LAE is truly a blessing. It made me feel that it is for me and I know I want this. Even if my dreams exceed the mere realm of legislation, I know it will be a stepping stone to my more ambitious goals. But again, we’ll see.
There is so much I want to do and this thirst and passion is unsettling. It brings fear and discomfort knowing that I’m slowly going to be limited. The controlling, territorial, and ironically, closet-bohemian self of mine is always waging this annoying battle. To meet a compromise is yet to be done. I guess the road getting there is an adventure I’m still somehow enjoying.
The last few weeks before I embark on a totally different life (I say life because law school is no shit.), I am learning more and more about myself. I am still having a whole lot of new firsts. And I really don’t want to be rushing. And the fact that there are so many moments when I feel like I am, I...
Lovely, lovely December
The long weekend was refreshing. It allotted me time to relax and spend on more leisurely activities. I’ve been working very hard since the semester started. And while I feel like the things I’ve somehow started are not even close to what I’m supposed to accomplish in the nearing weeks, I’m taking time to appreciate some of the things that I do tend to overlook such as the nearing holidays.
December comes knocking on my door so fast and somehow catches me off guard. Apart from all the usual darling festivities and holiday cheer I adore, I do have a busy month ahead. Squeezing in Christmas shopping amidst all my holiday projects while I continue to keep my grades up is a challenge I’m going to take. Let’s just hope the positivity manages to keep my spirits high everyday.
I’m trying to be as productive as I can be. While that is quite admirable, I am tempted every time to just stand back and take a breath. I’ve been quite sick a week ago, and it was a wake-up call to my body. Thus, I’ve been sleeping at least 8 hours a day and trying hard not to skip any meals. I’m also doubling up on vitamins when necessary. I can’t be sick, and I also want to live a healthier lifestyle. The result? It does wonders on my skin.
The sun in the early morning is wonderful as it keeps me energized to take on the day ahead. And as nights seem to be longer now that it’s December, I marvel at the Christmas lights and decorations adorning the streets. It leaves me all warm and fuzzy. It makes me crave for bibingka, sweet ham and cranberries every time. Christmas is also the ultimate holiday to be reminded of generosity and love. I feel like I need to share all the love I can with everyone, just because this year has allowed me to meet more people to love and...
Welcoming my last undergraduate semester
For the first few days of a new semester, I would normally be describing in detail a few first impressions of my professors or start talking about the new semester ahead. I didn’t realize I would be caught up with all my work for COA and our cluster’s big project for the Ateneo Sesquicentennial year. Not to mention the pressure of finishing the entire yearbook this December. Other things to be added to my long list of assignments are my Law school applications. It can get crazy, especially when you start hitting those frustrating bumps that make you feel quite powerless. Fortunately (and I really don’t know how I do it), even if the panic sinks in, I still end up with enough time for myself.
At this point in my life, I cannot lose sight on a lot of things. And as I go on living the last few months of my undergraduate year, I am somehow reminded by the things that I value, the things that I should value and the things I never realized I valued so much of. The ‘senior-syndrome’ may not have hit me yet, but I’m sure it will. I refuse to be caught up with things that occupy a huge chunk of my life right now without any realization whatsoever that there is no value in it. I’d like to believe that I’ve lived most of my life with enough passion for the things and the people I love. And all the while I’ve invested a part of myself in any of my interests, hobbies, talents, jobs, and even people, I’d like to think I’ve somehow have a better understanding of what I am capable of.
Having a healthy dose of confidence has yet to betray me. I never voluntary invest in things that I know I can only be half-hearted about. But approaching this sort of crossroads in my life leaves me a bit anxious. And I can’t help but be overwhelmed by...
When emotions are heightened
First Friday in months that I actually got home pretty early with nothing planned except to simply make the most out of my glorified idle time. A few hours into it and I already miss the rush of a Friday show. And after stumbling upon my friend, Toff’s column in Philippine Star (July 25, 2008) about our show, the melancholic feelings start flowing in and I can’t help but feel all too sentimental about it.
Three weekends, fifteen shows after, I’m still pretty thrilled and proud of myself, the cast and the crew. It feels surreal looking back at what I’ve been through since last summer – juggling Congress and COA work with everyday late night rehearsals all the way in the North. I remember wanting to be back on stage so much, especially for my last year in college. Of course, I didn’t foresee the amount of sacrifice I had to go through, as well as the effort and time invested for all my other major commitments. There were so many times that it was easy to suppress all the frustration because work distracted me to no end. It meant learning to control, take charge, and indulge in the right moments. It meant a lot of compromises between my other commitments, family and social life.
But the shows were a success, and the emotional highs and lows that came with it is still pretty much worth it. The joy of entertaining, sharing stories and taking on different characters remind me that there’s a part of me that will long to go back to the performing arts. Behind the curtains, all the random, candid, emotional, sweet, funny moments with my cast mates will be terribly missed. 
Charmie, Sab and Nica are three of the most talented, beautiful girls I’ve ever...
Get my 
