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When emotions are heightened
25 July 2008
First Friday in months that I actually got home pretty early with nothing planned except to simply make the most out of my glorified idle time. A few hours into it and I already miss the rush of a Friday show. And after stumbling upon my friend, Toff’s column in Philippine Star (July 25, 2008) about our show, the melancholic feelings start flowing in and I can’t help but feel all too sentimental about it.
Three weekends, fifteen shows after, I’m still pretty thrilled and proud of myself, the cast and the...
A Little Less Vague
4 May 2008
It’s a sunny Sunday, a welcoming treat from the oh-too-annoying sudden strong downpour of yesterday afternoon. Storms are usually my cup of tea. But at times when it starts to ruin my already set important plans, then it is just downright annoying. I missed some important meetings, and a COA get-together that I was looking forward to go to. I was just absolutely not in the mood yesterday, and spent the rest of the night locked up in my room, tinkering with phone applications and watching Disney. (The latter somehow lifted my spirits up.)
But all is well...
Almost there
15 March 2008
I’d like to take comfort in the fact that I just finished one seemingly psychotic week. Perhaps that is somewhat of an overstatement. But allow me the liberty to make that exaggeration, especially after just enduring one of the most extremely trying weeks of my Ateneo academic life. I’ve technically got less that two weeks left before I end my junior year. Unfortunately, I really don’t have anything to rejoice about until the very last day. It will end when it ends. For the mean time, I gotta make the most out of it. More importantly, I gotta do well....
Somewhere down the road
27 February 2008
I know I have been very negligent with this blog. Living through The Sem, while experiencing the most trying courses and teachers takes its toll, and blogging doesn’t seem to be a priority. I’d like to change that of course. Someday. haha.
I’m killing time before I go to my next class here at the Ateneo RSF. I also just finished my second Theo131 orals with Fr. Dacanay an hour ago. And the extreme relief after undergoing such life-changing event (haha) is one of a kind. I’m happy to say that I got the thesis statement I second wanted, and...
Theo131 Post-Seminar Thoughts
4 February 2008
Just came back from Fr. Dacanay’s whole day seminar/plenary on Marriage as part of our Theo131 requirement. He hosts one and requires all his students to attend every semester. And I’m pretty sure than one sem after another, there will always be raves and positive comments about it.
Coming into Ateneo my freshman year and getting a hold of my 4-year curriculum, I was initially quite surprised by all the CORE subjects I had to take. More importantly, 4 Theology subjects and 4 Philosophy subjects as required courses were something that I wasn’t looking forward to, especially since my...
When it boils down to this
10 December 2007
At this point, I should be doing my issue memo on the Liberal perspective of International Political Economy due tomorrow. However, a sudden surge of emotion renders me quite incapable of doing it right now.
But I digress.
Life has a way of throwing in these little surprises during the most unexpected times. And I have this tendency to impulsively act on my current emotions and enjoy the present, while undermining the consequences that might occur. I’d like to think that after how some of those surprises turned out before, I have learned to handle it better. Now, I’m a...
I hear the sleigh bells ringing
9 December 2007
Sunday mornings are usually devoted to a bit of contemplation and reflection about the passing week. That has always been some kind of a ritual, allowing me some kind of comfort and refuge to handle the week ahead.
The past three weeks have been academically trying. Late-nights with around less than 4 hours of sleep every day are all very normal. And the December weather together with my long, long breaks only add up to more moments left for added contemplation, reflection and maybe come academic condemnation.
I wonder what’s in the December air that everyone seems to...
On Attaining Closure
2 November 2007
The time spent to soothe emotional wounds really did do its wonders. Attaining closure in various aspects of my life and myself is priceless. It has allowed me to set free all negativity and make room for so much positivity and optimism. The once tainted realities are given clarity. There is acceptance of truth, and somehow it has stopped burning. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I can finally proclaim myself victorious from this emotional battle. There really is something empowering about that.
Thus, the break has been good so far. Amidst postponed plans, I’m not complaining. It’s refreshing to just think...
Another traitorous night
22 October 2007
It’s 2 past 12 in the morning, and yet I hardy feel the urge to get a decent shut eye. I feel like I’m being held captive by another traitorous night leaving me in this state of vulnerability. Sigh. Truthfully, I could’ve felt worse. Except my best friend, Jazmine came to my rescue. We save each other from all the emotional baggage with our YM conversations every night these past few days. Thank you, love for being one of my happy pills and sources of strength and inspiration. Anberlin’s Inevitable will get us through, while we have tons of fun...
One day at a time
4 September 2007
My apologies for the few days worth of hiatus and server problems. The important thing is this blog is back up. I also realized I haven’t really backed-up all my files here in this site. And the temporary shut down caused me much alarm. I really want to keep all my archives! That’s why if ever something happens to my host domain, I can move with all my files still with me.
August came and went by super fast that September started without much effect. It only becomes a reminder that the clock is ticking and I’m up against crazy...
Of Welcoming the New Month and COC Love
5 August 2007
Birthday month. Yay. Finally. The emotional baggage I’ve carried out the past month has been way too difficult for words. Everyday suddenly becomes a struggle. One day allows me to feel the intensity of a whole spectrum of emotions. I find myself just beyond exhausted.
I’ve been trying so hard to be in control, but I realized that once again, as the ‘feeling’ person that I am, I have allowed things to go beyond my control and affect me intensely. Nabubulabog talaga ako. There were so many days when ‘looking at the bright side’ means nothing. This is for the...
Here's to positive distractions
8 July 2007
I’ve never experienced heightened emotions tugging me endlessly in various directions consecutively the way I’ve been having them recently. Well, at least not since I was going through the worst ordeal back in high school. Of course, I was a completely different person then. More impulsive, less mature. But I still never expected this.
Siguro tama na. Isasarado ko na muna hanggang sa makita ko na kara pat-dapat pa itong balikan.
It’s really exhausting, and as much as I want to make things turn out okay. Circumstances prove to make me feel otherwise. I don’t want to be angry. I really don’t....
Early morning contemplation
2 July 2007
Good morning, world. It’s 7:40am and I’m here in the Ateneo typing the early wee hours away inside the RSF. Blame it on my two early-bird sisters, who made me wake up at 5:30 for a 9:30am class. So, what best way to waste time than contemplative blogging 101.
First of all, let me thank all those wonderful people who commented at my previous emo-ridden entry. To those who txted and expressed their concern, let me just say that all of you guys really helped lift my spirits up. I would want to hug y’all. haha. It’s amazing how you...
Mustering strength
28 June 2007
I’m not sure exactly how this entry is going to be like. But I’ll try to keep all the angst minimal. This is one of those moments when I wish to divulge everything, but can’t. I will try, and hopefully won’t end up regretting this. More importantly, I’m going to try and muster enough strength to update just because I don’t know if I have that in me at this moment. Be gentle with me.
I wish I could say that the past few weeks since school started has left me euphoric and excited. Unfortunately, it has turned out to be...
In My Own Bubble
20 June 2007
The first few days of school didn’t really feel like the usual first few days. Except maybe during photocopying moments, wherein every freakin photocopying machine in the Ateneo is either filled with long lines or crammed with a bulk of photocopying jobs. And as a PolSci major, readings make up most of my subjects. Our readings lists are insanely long, and require occasional trips to various photocopying machines. I have befriended several ‘xerox ladies and gentlemen’ with the hopes that it will come to my advantage eventually.
My MWF Histo and Philo classes are still very much manageable and...
The many moods... modes of Pearl
29 May 2007
I missed blogging. I feel like I have so much to say, but no time to write. At this point, everything just makes me feel so overwhelmed. I’m bored, busy, worried, bummed, whatnot. Nothing positive right there, but I’m working on it.
When I have my hands supposedly full with a million things to worry and be concerned about, there comes this point when I just want to whisk myself away from it all and just forget. At least for a moment. Most especially when I’m at the comforts of my own home. Shucks. Perhaps this is a sign that...
On being ambitious, group presentations and 300
13 March 2007
I have been yearning for some downtime lately. Being the busy bee that I am, people immediately assume that there is always something going on. Most of the time, they are right. Stress in its noun, adjectival and adverbial forms are constantly part of my constant updates. Oh sheesh. When I find myself less frazzled, I start contemplating on how my life has been reduced to. And yes, I don’t think I can complain. It is what it is. Of course, I find moments in between my constantly intense lifestyle that I ask myself why I do this to myself…
I’m leaving you guys with a picture from our monthly 4D reunion held at Karen’s house last Saturday. I’m so happy that despite going to different colleges, we make it a point to keep in touch and catch up every month. Good times.
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