For the first few days of a new semester, I would normally be describing in detail a few first impressions of my professors or start talking about the new semester ahead. I didn’t realize I would be caught up with all my work for COA and our cluster’s big project for the Ateneo Sesquicentennial year. Not to mention the pressure of finishing the entire yearbook this December. Other things to be added to my long list of assignments are my Law school applications. It can get crazy, especially when you start hitting those frustrating bumps that make you feel quite powerless. Fortunately (and I really don’t know how I do it), even if the panic sinks in, I still end up with enough time for myself.

At this point in my life, I cannot lose sight on a lot of things. And as I go on living the last few months of my undergraduate year, I am somehow reminded by the things that I value, the things that I should value and the things I never realized I valued so much of. The ‘senior-syndrome’ may not have hit me yet, but I’m sure it will. I refuse to be caught up with things that occupy a huge chunk of my life right now without any realization whatsoever that there is no value in it. I’d like to believe that I’ve lived most of my life with enough passion for the things and the people I love. And all the while I’ve invested a part of myself in any of my interests, hobbies, talents, jobs, and even people, I’d like to think I’ve somehow have a better understanding of what I am capable of.

Having a healthy dose of confidence has yet to betray me. I never voluntary invest in things that I know I can only be half-hearted about. But approaching this sort of crossroads in my life leaves me a bit anxious. And I can’t help but be overwhelmed by...

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I usually try to blog about my first few days of school. I meant to write during my first day. But because I end up arriving home at 11PM everyday, pretty much all tired and worn out, I just usually just sleep.

It is a first week unlike no other. It feels like the week is just an extension of the busy summer I had, only with added academic units. I’m pretty thrilled with my academic workload. I’ve also met all my teachers already, and I’m pretty pleased with my decision to take those classes. I’ve already had two of them before, and the other three are very, very interesting. I’m really looking forward to my academic load.

The overwhelming stress and frustration stems mostly from my extra-curricular activities. June is a critical time for me, and the two positions I currently hold require a lot of work. First few days and all the work can be draining.

Rehearsals keep me on my toes. Our choreography is wonderful, but singing the harmonies while doing that is a challenge. I need to develop stamina and endurance. The lack of consistent physical activity has a negative effect on that. I almost forgot that a musical (especially a dance-heavy musical) is a great form of exercise. haha. The show is coming along, and I’m very excited about it.

It’s crazy how my senior year has truly made me turn a 180. I’ve never had this much extra work before, and juggling everything can be both exciting and fulfilling. Despite all my non-academic endeavors, I can still manage to have time for my friends and family. Hopefully, I will find time for myself soon.

This year can be something great for me. I really don’t want to screw it up.

I just came from BlueREP pictorials. Yes. After two years of theatre hiatus, I finally auditioned for a BlueREP production. I’ve thought about it a lot before trying out, and even went out of my way to ask my parents for permission. I did that because if ever I do get in, I will have to devote school nights of June for rehearsals. It can be pretty tough for someone who lives in Makati like I do. Fortunately after my amazing persuading skills, they both finally agreed to it. It is my last year after all. Before I lock myself away to the world of law school, I might as well continue indulging in all the things I probably can’t do in the near future.

Hence, welcome to my busiest year ever. This is my attempt to overwhelm you guys. :)

Now that I have finished my practicum in Congress, I finally have time for rehearsals. I miss Congress already. I miss being part of that world and working with the good people in our office. I never really had any initial expectations, but I surprisingly left the place with newfound knowledge and appreciation of a lot of things that should matter. Everyday was a chance for me to learn and experience something new. It was not just about learning politics, the dynamics of power or national issues, but also learning more about myself. I shall miss the legislative life. haha.

For now, I am incredibly excited for BlueREP’s next musical, Summer of 42. I am thrilled to be part of the cast, especially since they were only to get 3 BlueREP female members in the play. I missed performing for BlueREP so much that even if our songs can be quite difficult, I am just so grateful to be back on stage – singing, dancing and acting again. I’m one-third of a close harmony singing group (much like The Andrew Sisters of the 40s) played by Charmie, Sab and I....

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After reading my friend, Jed‘s blog about not missing a Feb 29 post, I decided I wouldn’t want to miss posting on a leap year!

It sucks that it’s a Friday night and I’m still studying a whole lot of powerpoints for my POS118 (Philippine Administrative System) finals tomorrow. And it also sucks that the internet is distracting me every now and then.

I am trying to find consolation on the upcoming concerts that I will get to watch next week, but the anticipation of the blackhole month that is March is something that I utterly dread.

Can I just sleep through it all and wake up in Singapore this April?

Can I?

I know I have been very negligent with this blog. Living through The Sem, while experiencing the most trying courses and teachers takes its toll, and blogging doesn’t seem to be a priority. I’d like to change that of course. Someday. haha.

I’m killing time before I go to my next class here at the Ateneo RSF. I also just finished my second Theo131 orals with Fr. Dacanay an hour ago. And the extreme relief after undergoing such life-changing event (haha) is one of a kind. I’m happy to say that I got the thesis statement I second wanted, and felt quite confident about it. Let’s see if I am able to keep my grade from my first orals, or maybe even get a higher one this time around.

I never really liked the second semester. Scholastically, my grades drop down a notch. Personally, I find myself looking forward to the nearing summer vacation. It’s still very trying, and this sem is no exception. My POS majors are usually the ones that pull my grade up. Unfortunately this time around, they’re all very unpredictable and challenging. Mahirap talaga. Yung tipong kahit na inaral mo na, minsan hindi mo pa rin talaga maintindihan. Ewan. Pakiramdam ko talaga ang bobo ko minsan.

Every now and then, I find myself at wits end. There is personal pressure there. The anticipation that I’m nearing my last year in college peaks my curiosity about even more what ifs. I can’t help but be engaged with various aspects of my life. and somehow I feel both involved and helpless at the same time. Does that even make sense?

Right. I’ll stop the vagueness now.

Maybe this is just part of growing up and learning from the world, the people around us. Sometimes you think you don’t, but really, you do. That just brings unwanted emotional baggage.

Shush. I still need to go to class.