Things can’t seem to slow down if only to make everything seem faster. I doubt my Senior year can be defined by a word or even a few sentences. If someone does attempt to figure an encompassing statement, it will be written and expressed intermittently – with words spilled uninterruptedly, seemingly endless with the hopes that somehow it will come to a period soon.

And so here goes the last few weeks. The final straw, a personal aggressive and euphoric battle, that will one day remain to be just memories. Everyone seems to be thinking about the future. It’s quite interesting to see how people can easily map out their lives, while others enjoy it with so much spontaneity. I, on the other hand, lie somewhere in the middle. Perhaps more of the former than the latter. It helps that law school is set out for me. And the jubilation from passing the UP LAE is truly a blessing. It made me feel that it is for me and I know I want this. Even if my dreams exceed the mere realm of legislation, I know it will be a stepping stone to my more ambitious goals. But again, we’ll see.

There is so much I want to do and this thirst and passion is unsettling. It brings fear and discomfort knowing that I’m slowly going to be limited. The controlling, territorial, and ironically, closet-bohemian self of mine is always waging this annoying battle. To meet a compromise is yet to be done. I guess the road getting there is an adventure I’m still somehow enjoying.

The last few weeks before I embark on a totally different life (I say life because law school is no shit.), I am learning more and more about myself. I am still having a whole lot of new firsts. And I really don’t want to be rushing. And the fact that there are so many moments when I feel like I am, I...

...continue reading more

Going home so late everyday has taken its toll on me. I find myself beyond exhaustion. Fortunately, I haven’t necessarily been sick YET, but once I do arrive home, I am taken by the urge to lie down and sleep. The late nights are not exactly a first for me. I did experience really late, consecutive rehearsals. But it feels very, very different. Rehearsals give me some kind of high. I come home tired, but still pretty much psyched up. This is nothing like that.

I guess it also doesn’t help that I have to wake up in between 5AM-6:30AM everyday. Mostly because my other sister in UP has classes at 7AM. I have gone past the ranting about this because it doesn’t help at all. Early mornings in Ateneo allow me to be productive anyway. Physically, I fear that I’m totally abusing my body and will one day feel the dreaded consequences. Hopefully sooner than later. I cannot risk being sick by the time the hellish month of February approaches.

There are soooo many requirements ahead. I’m not sure if I’m particularly procrastinating or dreading the looming days (and all-nighters) of cramming all the work, but I am getting so nervous about it. I guess this just means I need to particularly iron out my game plan and figure out a way to work within my already busy schedule.

I know a lot of people are raring to graduate already. Senioritis is in its intense level, and all the talk about transitions, jobs, and applications feels both a bit bittersweet and scary at the same time. Wish me luck.

January signals the nearing end of the school year, and the past weeks went by so fast. Now that the cool weather is slowly being replaced by extremely sunny skies, I realize that there’s little time ahead. I can’t help but feel a little lost at times – mostly when it gets overwhelming and all I want to do is put everything into a pause. But no can do. It goes on as always, kind of exhausting and almost fleeting. There are joys in between, and moments to cherish, but to think that we’ve past mid-January fills me with a little bit of anxiety. Still so much to do.

So I try to make the most out of the time I have in Ateneo. I know for a fact that I will miss it extremely. And while I believe I’ve confronted the idea of law school much better now, the teensy weensy little speck of fear is there. It’s only my stepping stone for bigger dreams.

Last weekend, I shot with the team for the Ateneo Recruitment Video. It’s the video that will be shown to the high schools all over Philippines. I was interviewed about org experience and as part of COA. It was a fun day, and I had a blast working with the amazing crew, our director Aaron Palabyab and producer, Armand Sazon. I realized that talking to people is something that I absolutely love doing, and more importantly something I think I could be good at.

I also acted as an extra in Leong Hall (shown above) with my COA friends, Magel and Josh, and as a person holding a meeting. This is my second time to be officially shown in an official Ateneo video! At least, it’s something I get to leave behind and remember. The picture below are clips from the interview itself. Bottom picture is with Saz, Josh and Aaron.

...continue reading more

Mondays are usually busy days composed of my weekly meetings and a whole bunch of dates/meetings to attend to, to-do-lists and a new set of agenda to occupy either the week or the month. It yields mixed emotions of stress, anxiety and excitement. But I guess these days, it’s mostly the latter. New projects can become exciting adventures, and I find that particularly uplifting. Optimism brings out the best in me, and this attitude is always a good one to have.

But I am not without my worries. There is immense pressure to finish things on time and finish it well. And it is exhausting. I cannot let myself fall down and settle. I need to feel constantly inspired and motivated. For this to hit me, I stop for awhile to remind myself why I do what I do and why I love it. When I finally have my answers, it gets easy from there. And the people I am with – always always help.

I have two months left. And it just doesn’t feel enough. But I’ll worry about that later. For now, there are only new exciting adventures ahead to share with such amazing people. I remain bright-eyed and optimistic. Even if it gets hard. Even if its challenging. Even when there will come a time when I’m going to pull my hair out eventually. And I fear that eventually is really soon, and soon is really like next week.

But I will take that jump, come back bouncing and glide through all these so-called work. I will think of all this work, ONLY as POSSIBILITIES, holding out infinite chances for me to learn, grow and give back.

The next few months will be awesome.

It’s hard to go back in detail how I spent the past month. It was by far the busiest month I’ve ever experienced my entire student life. Last summer came pretty close, but just because this one involved all facets of my entire self, it exceeds everything I did then by a mile. It was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. I had quite a few breakdowns along the way, but as soon as everything wrapped up wonderfully and successfully at the end, I had to say it was all purely worth it. I have proven a lot of things to myself, and quite proud of what I have accomplished. Here are a few snapshots from some recent celebrations. I wish I had all the pictures with me to share, but these will do. Happy Holidays everyone!

...continue reading more