Birthday month. Yay. Finally. The emotional baggage I’ve carried out the past month has been way too difficult for words. Everyday suddenly becomes a struggle. One day allows me to feel the intensity of a whole spectrum of emotions. I find myself just beyond exhausted.

I’ve been trying so hard to be in control, but I realized that once again, as the ‘feeling’ person that I am, I have allowed things to go beyond my control and affect me intensely. Nabubulabog talaga ako. There were so many days when ‘looking at the bright side’ means nothing. This is for the sole reason that I couldn’t find anything positive at all. Yaaak. Ang drama. Emo to the nth level. But I’ve been way to vulnerable lately that everything just triggers an emotional breakdown of sorts.

And this also includes my freakin acads. Kadalasan, sinisigurado ko na hindi ito maapektuhan. Pero ang hirap. Nagkakataon na laging may test o exam sa susunod na araw. Haaay. Nakakaiyak. The reality that I screwed up an important paper truly took its toll.

Fortunately, the start of this month promised a renewed outlook, a fresh perspective and a yearning for only the positive. This is me trying hard to get past all my relapses and emotional blows. Last Friday, I had my routine guidance interview. Even if I didn’t expect myself to start opening up, I eventually did. And it felt good. Hearing someone give me advice from that point of view is refreshing. The time I spent there was both uplifting and inspiring. To find a pace for myself amidst all this is still probably going to be a challenge and struggle for me, but at least the road to get there isn’t as tainted as before. Channeling all the pent-up negative energy is going to be crucial. Haaay. Pray for me.

And because I’ve been a sentimental schmuck lately, a recent purchase of Candy (August 2007) issue was enough to make me reminisce the past year spent working for Candy and the wonderful COC7 gals.

I’m pretty sure that it was around August when the interviews were all taking place. I really didn’t expect to make it, but I was extremely happy that I did. I think the best part of being part of this council was getting to know the girls, the eds, while gaining new friends, as well as a lot of memorable experiences.

Here are a few of my favorite moments with the girls and even with Abt Ur Luv cast member, AJ Perez. We all found him adorable.

I’m really going to miss everything about being part of the Council of Cool. However, I am positive that my friendship with the girls will always be there.

Here’s to even more opportunities for us, fellow COC7-ers! :) For everyone, don’t forget to grab a copy of the August 2007 issue to see our mini-mag!!!