I’m not sure exactly how this entry is going to be like. But I’ll try to keep all the angst minimal. This is one of those moments when I wish to divulge everything, but can’t. I will try, and hopefully won’t end up regretting this. More importantly, I’m going to try and muster enough strength to update just because I don’t know if I have that in me at this moment. Be gentle with me.

I wish I could say that the past few weeks since school started has left me euphoric and excited. Unfortunately, it has turned out to be these series of unexpected (maybe even down right unfortunate) events that leave me asking for strength every single day. How things have taken a 180 degree turn is beyond my knowledge. At times, I’m still left dumbfounded – grasping for answers. And to say I’ve been down is an understatement. A roller coaster of emotions knocks on my door every day, and I can’t help but let it in and take me for a ride. It would’ve been wonderful if it was the kind of thrilling, exciting spin that makes me ask for more. Sigh. But noooo. It becomes this aching nightmare, wherein I am pushed to my limits and feel my emotions at its extremes. Ang hirap. Grabe. I do not like questioning things that are happening to me nor this feeling of helplessness that haunts every idle moment I have. And I don’t like the hurting. I really don’t like the hurting. Damn relapses.

Life creeps in with painful realities we can’t control. And it gets so unfair. Sooooo unfair. Hindi ko na ata kayang ituloy pa kaya hanggang dito na muna. It’s just nice having this little outlet. I hope I didn’t put anyone down that much.

So to put a little bit of joy from my otherwise emo-ridden entry, I’ll talk about the wonderful time spent with BlueREP during our GA. I swear. It’s the best positive distraction ever.

Yesterday, ghetto fabulous BlueReppers flocked over to SocSci Case Study Room for our first General Assembly for the SY. Theme was hiphop, and it was beyond tight! BlueREP takes themes seriously, so expect full on bling and energy. haha. With over 130 new members, we are beyond excited to start our new year!

Those are shots of the BlueREP oldies just before we welcome our new members! It’s going to be such a great year!