Mustering strength

28 June 2007

I’m not sure exactly how this entry is going to be like. But I’ll try to keep all the angst minimal. This is one of those moments when I wish to divulge everything, but can’t. I will try, and hopefully won’t end up regretting this. More importantly, I’m going to try and muster enough strength to update just because I don’t know if I have that in me at this moment. Be gentle with me.

I wish I could say that the past few weeks since school started has left me euphoric and excited. Unfortunately, it has turned out to be these series of unexpected (maybe even down right unfortunate) events that leave me asking for strength every single day. How things have taken a 180 degree turn is beyond my knowledge. At times, I’m still left dumbfounded – grasping for answers. And to say I’ve been down is an understatement. A roller coaster of emotions knocks on my door every day, and I can’t help but let it in and take me for a ride. It would’ve been wonderful if it was the kind of thrilling, exciting spin that makes me ask for more. Sigh. But noooo. It becomes this aching nightmare, wherein I am pushed to my limits and feel my emotions at its extremes. Ang hirap. Grabe. I do not like questioning things that are happening to me nor this feeling of helplessness that haunts every idle moment I have. And I don’t like the hurting. I really don’t like the hurting. Damn relapses.

Life creeps in with painful realities we can’t control. And it gets so unfair. Sooooo unfair. Hindi ko na ata kayang ituloy pa kaya hanggang dito na muna. It’s just nice having this little outlet. I hope I didn’t put anyone down that much.

So to put a little bit of joy from my otherwise emo-ridden entry, I’ll talk about the wonderful time spent with BlueREP during our GA. I swear. It’s the best positive distraction ever.

Yesterday, ghetto fabulous BlueReppers flocked over to SocSci Case Study Room for our first General Assembly for the SY. Theme was hiphop, and it was beyond tight! BlueREP takes themes seriously, so expect full on bling and energy. haha. With over 130 new members, we are beyond excited to start our new year!

Ghetto BlueRep Oldies

Booyeah.

Those are shots of the BlueREP oldies just before we welcome our new members! It’s going to be such a great year!



6 Comment/s

(#) randy on 29/06/07 17:53

I don’t know what’s happening but i can’t help but be bothered. Negative energies in your recent posts really pull the readers down. I swear.

Just like what I said before, just look at the bright side Pearl. It would help a lot in saving you from darkness. And also, call on Him.:)

Ok, another FC mode. Sorry talaga Pearl.

(#) Pearl on 29/06/07 19:41

wow, randy. i didn’t expect this. hehe.

my apologies for dampening your spirits with my post. i just seriously need some venting, and blogging has always allowed me that. not to mention, it’s refreshing to hear concern and advice from people in the blogging world. :P

so, thank you. :) that made me smile. :)

(#) Karen on 30/06/07 16:23

dearie, I hope you’re doing well.. just remember that your dearest TATU will always be here for you. I think I need to see you guys also. miss you, see you soon and be happy! love yah!

(#) Pearl on 30/06/07 17:11

karen!!! oh gosh. it’s my first time to see you here. i miss you all soooo much.

i hope to see you all sooon!!!

(#) Layla on 30/06/07 18:07

I seriously don’t blame you. I am loving law school. But I’m also frustrated. There are really some professors who treat their subject as a thousand-unit subject. I don’t mind having my dignity squelched by a professor who teaches a bar subject (Criminal Law, Persons and Consti), but on a minor, it’s different. I don’t want to sound like griping, but there you are. Hay naku. I used to look forward to Saturdays because it’s the end of the week, but now, I don’t. Kanina nga lang, parang gusto ko nang umiyak.

Gosh, angsty ito! But it goes to show na I know how you feel. Sigh.

(#) Jazmine on 30/06/07 22:08

we heart you, BFF!

Don't hesitate to leave a comment

Once you've hit the preview button, please go back and click the submit button to post your comment. To place an avatar to your post, get one at Gravatar. Thank you.

Name: (required)

Email: (required, hidden)

Website URL: (optional)

Message: Textile Help