Junior mid-polsci crisis

18 September 2007

Last Monday, junior Political Science students had an assembly regarding the special MA program Ateneo has for us to take if we want to. It is a great program anchored into our current undergraduate program, which basically allows us just one year to take graduate courses and eventually earn an MA degree after. Yes. One freakin year ONLY. It is seriously TEMPTING.

I mean, what’s one year?

Damn law school.

The buzz of this MA program around us PolSci students brought about questions on the what do we really want to do after polsci. Are we all set out for law school? Are our hearts devoted to it? There were definitely a bunch of ‘what-ifs’ being thrown around as well. What if we fail? What if we realize it’s not for us? What if we’re all making a big mistake? It’s all too confusing and even scary.

It’s all so fast now. And our decisions and actions become crucial. We find ourselves reevaluating everything, asking all these confusing, semi-existential questions, and looking out for what might be there for us. I know it probably sounds crazy since we’re still very young and life is out there to throw out the most unexpected things. But I can’t help it. I’m all of a sudden rattled and distracted.

I’d like to think I’m sure of it all. I want to become a lawyer, and after that there will be possibilities that I can take perhaps maybe independent of being a lawyer. It’s a simple, one-step-at-a-time goal that I’ve always had in me. But things never go exactly my way. Although that can be frustrating, it is also very exciting. And most of the time, the things that happen are better. Maybe all these are bothering me because I can’t help but be caught up with all these crazy emotions that the ‘future’ can bring including the excitement of entering law school and passing the bar.

I guess I’m scared of the ‘what-ifs.’ I know I can’t let my pessimism hold me back, especially when I know I can be capable of a lot of things. And the fact that I’m in a sort-of-crossroads moment with the whole AB-MA thing is seriously making my head ache.

Shush. This is all too confusing. And now I’m stressed.

Thank God for Prison Break Season 3. Wentworth Miller is yummy.



2 Comment/s

(#) layla on 24/09/07 10:32

take it one step at a time! :)

for once, I am thinking na baka ayaw ng Law sa akin! Pero sige. Aral pa rin. Nakakainspire yung mga sisses ko kahapon na bar examinees…they said na kailangan talaga, mag-aral. And to really think hard why WE ARE THERE. My friend even gave me a sermon (remember that seatmate?we’re pretty much good friends na) that the world doesn’t stop when I have problems, and if I could do the things he does, sabi nya, kaya ko rin yan. Ayan. Haha. Napagalitan ako ni kuya(he’s 28 already, btw). Syempre, he adds, di rin maiiwisan umangal, pero kung sobra nang angal, mag-isip na raw kung ano ang dahilan ng pag-aral.

To some people, I owe them an explanation (which I also gave him). Some of them (including him, at first) thought I wasn’t taking my studies seriously. I am. I study hard na. But I still make it a point to not make a crossroads with everything I do…I just try to be jokey about stuff a lot, even with my studies, kahit na minsan, gusto ko nang isuko ang lahat at umiyak na lang.

to add. don’t be scared of the what ifs. feel the fear but do it, anyway. I think that a greater chunk of life is about making risks, considering the consequences, and learning from it anyway.

I’ll be there when you take the dive.

(#) Roxanne on 28/09/07 03:12

Hi Ate Pearl,

Long time no comment.. First of all I could like to congrats you for making three years in Polsci. I am a freshmen and wow, I never expected the work and thesis.

Regarding your further decision in law my only advice is to take one step at a time because as you grow you will realize things that matters to you. Just take a moment to reflect if you wanted to pursue your career in law.

It is one advantage (one year, ano ba yan) but yeah, its up to you to decide friend.

Kung saan mo gusto susuportahan k’ta :D

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